The Beauty of Melancholy

Have you recently lost someone dear? Are you feeding yourself with the thought of wishing you are not here reading this article? Let us tell you this, what you feel is entirely normal. Bereavement is a long and hard process to take, and you will need the love and support of family and friends.

Grieving is a process that you feel like you want to deal with alone. You wallow in self-pity and doubt, you avoid any human interaction because living suddenly became a task on your to-do list that needs to be ticked off at the end of the day. Again, it’s still okay to isolate yourself for a while. But how long will you continue to live the way you do?

With grief comes guilt and lack of purpose. But regardless of what you feel and think, know that there will always be someone who is rooting for you and wish you’d pull yourself together.

THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF

Denial

If you’re dealing with loss, getting in terms with the fact becomes unbearable that you would rather not acknowledge it. You paralyze any feelings you have left until you finally accept the notion and gradually take everything in. However, too much of something is bad and can get out of control. Don’t allow yourself to stay disconnected for it may do you more harm.

Anger

After dealing with the consistent hovering of denial, anger will start to build up. This feeling will have you baffled as you feel anger towards yourself, the loved one who passed, and even to God. This is the stage of grief when reality slowly sinks in. You will feel the uncertainty of your surroundings and will believe the voices inside your head saying that nobody cares or understands you.

Bargaining

When a tragedy occurs or an illness suddenly hits a family member, you often find yourself making a deal with God, so he could take away whatever it is that burdens the person you’re praying for. You are also willing to negotiate in the hopes of getting things back to the way they were. A feeling of regret will also intensify as you question yourself what could have been if you only did things differently.

Depression

When all hope seems lost, you fall into a state of depression. The memory of what has been will seem too much for you to handle. You begin to lose interest in the activities you do on a daily basis like going to work or doing household chores. The feeling of longing, fatigue, loss of sleep, and appetite will start to consume you and little by little turn you to isolation.

Acceptance

Acceptance is not being okay with the loss of a loved one but embracing the thought that you will be in time. In this stage of grief, you will start to shape your future and accept what lies ahead. As you enter a new chapter and reality in life, you will feel more at ease and celebrate the life lived by your dearly departed.

LIVE IN THE PRESENT

Everything in life is temporary, and nothing will remain as is, except for change. Losing someone dear who also made a mark in your life is never easy. There will even be times when you go back and forth in dealing with grief, and you have to forgive yourself when it happens. Always be in touch with reality and never allow yourself to be deprived of the care you need.

Living in the moment is just as important as planning for the future. If you are grieving today, then let it be. What happened in the past is something that you could learn from or be joyful about. Find beauty in your loss and acknowledge it. You may not see it right away, but just give it some time to set in.

CELEBRATE THEIR LIFE ONCE LIVED

Physical presence is not the only basis to feel someone’s love. You can also take comfort in the memories you shared with them. Commemorate the life of your dearly departed every day and keep them close by having a designated area at home showing happy photos of them, or putting one photo in a special frame. This way, you will always remember the warmth of their presence and love.

LET THEIR MEMORY BURN BRIGHT

Each time you recall a memory, celebrate a special occasion like their birthday or an anniversary, you can also light up a candle to pay tribute to their life once lived, and signify their lasting memory. Choose a candle infused with essential oils that will remind you of them. Also, to make the recollection more special, you can put the candle in a candle holder with a heartwarming message.